For a long time, I lived in survival mode—smiling on the outside, but silently breaking on the inside. Abuse has a way of twisting reality, convincing you that the pain is your fault, and that there’s no way out. I believed lies for so long that they felt like truth. But over time—and with a lot of healing, prayer, and grace—God helped me untangle those lies and step into freedom.

If you’re reading this and you’ve experienced abuse—whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or all of the above—I want you to know: you’re not alone, and there is truth that can set you free.

Here are five of the biggest lies I believed—and the truths that replaced them.

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Lie #1: “It’s my fault.”

When someone you love blames you over and over, it starts to sink in. I thought if I were a better wife, more patient, more forgiving, less “dramatic,” maybe things would be different.

The Truth: Abuse is never your fault.

No amount of kindness, submission, or silence justifies someone hurting or manipulating you. That blame belongs to the one who chose to abuse—not you.

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” — Romans 8:1

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Lie #2: “I’m not strong enough to leave.”

I used to look in the mirror and see someone weak. I thought I had to stay for the kids, or because I couldn’t support myself, or because I didn’t want to start over. I had a fear that I wouldn’t be able to support myself and five kids.

The Truth: Strength isn’t the absence of fear—it’s doing the hard thing anyway.
You may not feel strong, but strength doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s in the whisper: “This isn’t love.” “I need help.” “I’m worth more.”

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” — Philippians 4:13

Lie #3: “No one will believe me.”

Abusers are often charming in public. I was terrified no one would believe what happened behind closed doors. However, oftentimes, family and close friends may already suspect something is going on before you even have to say something.

The Truth: Your voice matters, and your story is valid.
Even if some people question it, that doesn’t make it any less true. You are not alone, and there are people who will listen, believe you, and walk with you.

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Lie #4: “God must be disappointed in me.”

I wondered where God was. Did He see me? Was He silent because I had failed Him? Was I too broken to be used again? I prayed so many prayers. It felt like my prayers were bouncing off the ceiling. I was even told by my ex that God would not approve of a divorce. That I would stand before God about my decision to finally leave.

The Truth: God draws near to the brokenhearted.
He wasn’t absent. He was grieving with me. And He never stopped loving me—even when I questioned Him, even when I didn’t feel strong enough to pray.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

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Lie #5: “I’ll never be whole again.”

Abuse doesn’t just break your heart – it breaks your sense of self. I feared I’d never feel safe or normal again.

The Truth: Healing is possible.
It takes time. It’s not always linear. There are days I feel like I am back at day 1 of healing. Then, there are days where I feel like I am back to normal. But little by little, God is putting the pieces back together – creating something even stronger, even more beautiful. I am not who I was. I am becoming whole again, one day at a time.

💬 Final Thoughts

If you’ve believed any of these lies, please hear me: You are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not beyond hope. Healing is possible. Freedom is possible. You are worth love that doesn’t hurt.

And if you’re still in the middle of it, hold on. Truth is stronger than fear—and you are stronger than you know.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story—or simply pray with you. Feel free to comment below.

You’re not walking alone.