I’ve said these words more times than I can count:
“This wasn’t supposed to be my life.”

You know how it is. You imagine how your life will be, what it will look like, and just like the movies, you get to live happily ever after.

And then it doesn’t.
And you don’t.

It. Blows.

I always imagined I would get married, have kids, build a great career—you know, the works. I was going to be married to my husband “til death do us part.”

Instead, I am a single mother to five children, working on my own healing while helping my kids heal too.

For years, I have been so frustrated with the way my life turned out. Some parts of it came from my own decisions, but the parts I struggled with the most came from the actions and decisions of others.

I found myself asking the same question again and again:

How is this supposed to be my life?

I prayed. I begged God. I asked Him to change things, to fix things, to make life look the way I thought it was supposed to.

Instead, this became my life… healing from trauma. Learning how to trust again. Slowly becoming more comfortable with vulnerability.

And like He always does, God stepped in to hold my hand and help me walk through it.

I look back over the last year and a half of my life, and I hardly recognize my old self. I’m doing things I never thought I would do. I have grown more in my faith this past year than I ever expected. I have seen God’s goodness even more…. or maybe I’ve just started noticing it more.

I share my story more openly now. I’m more bold in my walk with Him. And I’m beginning to see that God’s plans often look very different from our own.

Proverbs 16:9 says,
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

We make plans for our lives. We picture how things should go. But God sees the bigger story that we cannot see yet.

I want to be clear about something, though. The pain and trauma I’ve experienced were never God’s desire for my life. Those things came from the brokenness of this world, and the choices people make. But God, in His goodness, doesn’t abandon us in those moments. He meets us there. He walks with us through the healing. He restores and redeems what was never meant to harm us in the first place.

And somehow, even through the broken pieces, He is still working.

Romans 8:28 reminds us,
“God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

So yes, I’ve said it many times:

“This wasn’t supposed to be my life…”

And thank God for that.